


Sire Says

by alienvomplanetenwooh, Guessimaclotpole



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF!Merlin, But more like two idiots, But mostly dare, Canon Era, Fate & Destiny, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Smut, Truth or Dare, horseplay, kids games, two sides of the same coin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-07-25 14:00:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16198952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienvomplanetenwooh/pseuds/alienvomplanetenwooh, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guessimaclotpole/pseuds/Guessimaclotpole
Summary: Arthur and Merlin are incredibly bored, and the prince is tired of Merlin's rubbish games.Instead, he suggests a new game.A story of two idiots who constantly try to prove their courage and bravery with a game of humiliation and dares.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this was something we absolutely needed to write up once alienvomplanetenwooh thought up the idea. 
> 
> Please share your thoughts on the story!

Arthur rode with his eyes closed.

He heard the wind rustle through the leaves and the rhythmical 'clack’ sounds of their horse's hooves.

He smelled the heavy scent of the forest after the rain mix with the familiar scent of his steed.

He felt the sun’s rays that made it through the thick canopy hit his skin and warm it while the mild wind that ruffled through his hair cooled it down again.

He felt his horses steady heartbeat and his comforting warmth when he dug his hand in it's fur.

Peaceful.

It was the perfect word to describe the calming quiet he found himself in.

“Oh God, this must be the most uneventful and boring patrol that we've ever been on.” Merlin complained as he rode up to Arthur, and just like that, the spell was broken.

Gone was the peace and quiet.

Arthur sighed.

“I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, _Mer_ lin.” He replied sarcastically, “What do you want me to do about it? Call up on some bandits to ambush us? Maybe an evil sorcerer to threaten my life? Or a magical beast to go on a rampage through Camelot? Would that be more to your liking?”

“It would certainly cure my boredom, _Sire_.” Merlin grinned, “Though I reckon there are easier ways to pass the time than deadly threats?”

“And what do you suggest?” Arthur asked warily.

“Hm. How about a game?” Merlin proposed.

“A _game_?” Arthur asked in disbelief, but before he could shoot down Merlin's very much ridiculous idea, the servant pointed up at the sky that had just appeared between two trees.

“What do you think that cloud looks like? I think it looks like a knight riding a horse in a tournament.” Merlin described excitedly.

“I think it looks like a prince cutting out his manservants tongue so he can finally have some peace and quiet.” Arthur replied annoyed.

Merlin looked over to him and pouted. “You didn't even look at the cloud.”

“No, I was talking about the vision of the future I just had. It was a vision of better days, of days where everyone - _especially_ crown princes of Camelot - could live their lives without constant chatter.” Arthur explained.

“Yes, that is extremely clever and witty.” Merlin said, oozing sarcasm. “Another game then!”

Arthur groaned.

“I spy with my little eye-”, Merlin started but was interrupted by Arthur asking: “Don't you think you should be renaming that game into 'I hear with my enormous ear?’ You'd probably always win, your ears must be a lot more perceptive than our normal sized ones.”

Merlin glared at the prince but continued the game. “I spy with my little eye…something green.”

“Oh my. Something green. Where would we ever find something green _in the middle of the forest,_ I wonder. Is it, perhaps, a tree?” Arthur offered, taking far more pleasure in teasing Merlin than playing the actual game.

“You are just no fun today.” Merlin grumbled.

“Has it occurred to you” Arthur asked “that maybe, it's not me who's the problem, but your choice of games?”

“Well, let's hear you suggest one then.” Merlin gestured Arthur to make a suggestion.

“You won't, because I don't want to play stupid games.” Arthur refused.

“Then come up with a game that isn't stupid.” Merlin shrugged.

“Will you stop talking to me after I do this?”, Arthur asked hopefully.

“Maybe. I certainly won't if you don't.” Merlin said with the gleam of victory in his eyes.

“Alright, I suggest a game of 'Sire says’.” Arthur recommended.

“Never heard of that one.” Merlin wondered, “How do you play?”

“It's quite easy actually. When I start my sentence with 'Sire says’ you have to do whatever I tell you to do.” Arthur explained.

“And how is that different from you ordering me around all day?” Merlin inquired, eyebrow raised high.

“Well that's simple. If you don't do as I tell you - like you usually do - you lose.” Arthur grinned smugly, “For example: Sire says, do not duck out of the way of that low hanging branch that's coming up, Merlin. Now you have to ride right through that tree branch without going around it. If you don't want to do it, though, that's fine. There is no shame in a servant losing to his prince.”

Merlin glared at Arthur but did as he was told.

When he emerged Arthur pulled a leaf from his hair.

“See, that wasn't so bad!” Arthur cheered.

Merlin's eyes narrowed. “Fine, my turn. Sire says-"

Before Merlin was able to finish the command, however, he was interrupted by Arthur repeatedly clicking his tongue. “Are you royalty, Merlin? I believe not. So you don't get to order me around using ' _Sire_ says’.”

“But that's not much of an entertaining game then!” Merlin protested.

“Is it not?” Arthur asked innocently, “Does this mean you no longer want to play games?”

Merlin was quiet for a moment until his eyes lit up auguring ill. “Not exactly. What do you say we make this more interesting? Change it up a bit, make this more into a competition of dares?”

“And how would we do that?” Arthur asked, suddenly intrigued.

“Well, we keep the part where you get to order me around using 'Sire says’, and I have to do as commanded, but _only then._ If you give me an order and you forget to add the 'Sire says’ I'm under no obligation to comply. Furthermore we add the ‘Servant says’ part, where I get to order you around and you have to do my bidding. If either of us cannot or doesn't want to fulfill the dare, he loses. Don't worry though, there is no shame in a prince losing to his servant.” Merlin assured after introducing the new rules.

Behind them the knights - which had been suspiciously quiet up to this point - sniggered, and Arthur ground his teeth.

Arthur couldn't lose to a servant.

He couldn't lose to _Merlin._

But he couldn't back down now either.

Merlin had thrown him a metaphorical gauntlet and if he refused to pick it up he'd always be known as a coward. His knights - and especially Merlin - would never let him live it down.

So instead he reached over the distance between their horses and grabbed Merlin's extended hand. “You're on.”

 

The remainder of the journey was spent mostly in silence, much to Arthur’s gratitude. As the two boys and their company of Knights rode through the lower town, however, Arthur couldn't help but overhear Sir Kay trying to talk Leon into placing bets over this game. For a second, Arthur considered reprimanding his knights, but no. _Let them have their fun,_ he thought. More fool the man who placed his bets on Merlin, because Merlin would never win at anything against Arthur. _Never_.

 

Arthur was the first to dismount his horse in the Castle Courtyard. He was desperate for some food and he would definitely need to fill up in preparation for the Jousting Trials the coming days. It was an event he knew he could look forward to - because Arthur had never lost a jousting match in his life.

Arthur petted his horse while he waited for Merlin and the knights. What was taking his _idiot_ servant so long? He knew it was petty, but he'd been roped into this stupid game and he could quite literally hear his stomach crying for food. He began to count.

“72, 73, 74… Ahh, there you are, _Mer_ lin. I was beginning to wonder whether you'd fell off your horse!” Arthur snapped when Merlin and the Knights _finally_ joined his company.

“Give him a break, Arthur, he stopped for a few minutes to pick some Yarrow for Gaius.” said Sir Leon, ever the voice of reason.

Arthur opened his mouth to retaliate, but Merlin spoke first.

“Why, _thank you,_ Leon, but I am used to this treatment by now. But unfortunately I'm locked into service with the prat.”

The knights and Merlin snickered to themselves and like _hell_ was Arthur going to let him get away with that.

“Well, _Mer_ lin. Maybe you'd receive better treatment if you were a half-decent manservant. Now take my horse back to the stable!” Arthur demanded, his voice authoritative and regal. He would win this argument.

He watched as Merlin dismounted his own horse and led it to Arthur’s. He took both of the horse’s reins in his hand before looking directly into Arthur's eyes with a smirk and thrusting the reins into Arthur’s chest.

“Servant says, do it yourself, bossy boots.”

And then he walked away and Arthur could do nothing but stare furiously at the empty space in front of him while Sir Geriant sprayed water out of his nose in an attempt to stifle a laugh and it took everything for Arthur not to run him through with his sword.

_If that's how Merlin wants to play, then it's on._

 

_\--------_

 

Merlin had successfully managed to evade Arthur for the rest of the afternoon by running errands for Gaius.

He certainly wasn't _hiding_ from Arthur because he feared what the prince might come up with to get back at Merlin for the stunt he pulled with their horses. Most certainly not.

He was just... _busy._

And if that meant not having to face Arthur then that was a lucky coincidence.

Merlin had regretted his action as soon as he'd entered the castle. Yes, they were playing a game and technically Merlin did nothing wrong by continuing their little game, but Arthur’s actions could be unpredictable sometimes. Especially if he had been humiliated by Merlin - a _servant_ \- in public.

Merlin groaned and buried his face in his hands as he sat down with Gaius for dinner.

What had he done?!

He was going to spend a week in the stocks, possibly the dungeons, _if_ he were to survive his next encounter with Arthur that is.

Even though he didn't see it, he could feel Gaius raising his eyebrow at him.

“What is it this time?” the physician asked.

“I might have done something stupid” Merlin informed him.

“Yes, as surprising as this might sound to you the thought had crossed my mind already.” the elder man replied dryly.

“I've started a stupid game with Arthur and in course of that game I might've gotten a bit upset and therefore insulted and humiliated Arthur. In public. I _probably_ hurt his pride- no, I _definitely_ did. And oh god, I'm going to die, aren't I? Arthur's gonna kill me!” Merlin recounted, the words tumbling out of his mouth faster with every syllable he spoke.

Gaius’ only reply was to raise his eyebrow _even higher_.

Merlin groaned and let his forehead hit the table.

Great.

Just. Great.

A firm knock on the door interrupted Merlin's wallowing in self-pity. Gaius invited them in and after a moment Merlin heard George clear his throat. “The prince requires his dinner and your presence in his chambers.”

Merlin lifted his head to look at George. Thanks to their new game, he didn't have to follow _normal_ orders from Arthur anymore, did he? Maybe he could just go to bed early today and catch a night off.

“What _exactly_ did the prince say, George?” Merlin asked.

George cleared his throat once again. “I believe his exact words were: 'George, tell my idiot manservant: Sire says, fetch me my dinner and attend to me in my chambers.’ I must admit, I am a bit irritated by his rather peculiar phrasing.”

“I'm not.” Merlin grumbled and pushed himself off the chair to go to the kitchens.

It took him longer than usual to collect the prince's dinner and make his way to his quarters, but Arthur had apparently said nothing about Merlin having to hurry up and Merlin felt no urgency to face the prince, so he took his time.

When Merlin pushed open the doors to Arthur's chambers the prince was already awaiting him. He sat at his table facing the door and tapping his fingers impatiently. “Oh look. You're still alive, I thought you might've died of old age on your way up here!” Arthur commented sarcastically, “Next time I'll tell George to include a time limit in my commands, because apparently to some lazy manservants, who have neglected their duties all day, it is not obvious yet that they shouldn't keep their prince waiting any longer.”

“Pardon me, Sire. I was helping out Gaius with some chores, the joy of your company was only trumped by the pleasurable task of cleaning out the leech tank.” Merlin replied.

“Since you've been gone all day, I reckon you've finished all of Gaius' chores?” Arthur inquired nonchalantly.

“Yes.” Merlin answered warily.

“Brilliant. That means you can start on mine. I want you to clean my room, polish my boots, polish my armour for the tournament, mend my favourite tunic, I'll wear that one for the opening fest tomorrow and get me a vial of Gaius’ muscle relaxant for after the first rounds of the tournament and write my speech for when I become this year's champion again.” A small smile tugged at Merlin's lips as Arthur had ended his speech and he nodded obediently.

“Will there be anything else, Sire?” He wanted to know.

“Yes, one more thing, Merlin.” Arthur added and smiled at his servant wickedly, “ _Sire says,_ complete all these chores I just mentioned by tomorrow morning, _Mer_ lin.”

Merlin's face fell.

There had been little hope that Arthur might've forgotten about their little game, for Arthur was definitely the most competitive person Merlin knew, but for a second Merlin had really thought he might yet get to have the evening off.

He was wrong.

Instead he even had to work through the night or he’d never be able to complete all of his chores in time.

Coming to think of it, was not being able to complete a dare the same as refusing to do one? If he couldn't finish the chores in time, did that mean he'd lose?

Judging by Arthur's shit eating grin that was exactly what was on the princes mind as well. He thought Merlin couldn't manage it all in time. He thought he'd won already.

Merlin ground his teeth and glared at Arthur.

 _Not_ if Merlin could help it.

What did he have magic for if not for a situation like this?

A _true_ emergency.

The best way to do this would be to feign defeat. Merlin had to let Arthur _believe_ he'd won already. After all, not even George would be capable of a stack of chores like this.

The only way to do this, would be to prove himself tomorrow morning, and then get Arthur back twice as good.

Merlin pulled the best ‘Oh Gods, I'm going to lose’ face at Arthur.

“Yes, sire” he mumbled while he stared at his feet, and when he retreated back into the corridor, he could help but let the corners of his mouth play up into a small smirk.

_Arthur was never going to win this._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait, guys- We will try and make updates more frequently!

Merlin felt like he'd been run over by an entire army when he was on his way to wake the prince the next morning. He had been up all night finishing the chores, and even with the help of his magic he barely even managed it in time. 

The tunic was mended, armour and boots polished, the vial of muscle relaxant was placed on Arthur's breakfast tray that he was currently carrying and the speech was tugged in his back pocket. 

The main reason he didn't get any sleep was that he had to write the speech. It had taken most of the night and it hadn't gotten easier as the night went on and Merlin constantly had to fight falling asleep. 

After being out on patrol, running around finishing chores yesterday and not getting any sleep last night he was so impossibly tired that, if someone were to pat him on the shoulder, he'd just topple over and take a nap right then and there.

To his disappointment no one patted him on the shoulder and he had to continue making his way to the prince's chambers. Maybe he could get a little rest in Arthur's bed once the royal prat had left to train with the knights.

Yes, that sounded like a marvellous plan.

Upon entering the prince's chambers Merlin almost dropped Arthur's breakfast tray when he saw the state the room was in.

He'd forgotten.

He had forgotten to clean Arthur's chambers.

If Arthur wakes up and Merlin hasn't finished  _ all  _ the chores, Merlin would lose!

As quietly as possible, in order not to wake Arthur, Merlin put down the tray on the table. Without making a sound Merlin walked over to the other side of Arthur's bed and made sure that he was still fast asleep.

He just stood for a minute, watching, his breath hitched in his throat. Arthur looked so peaceful and relaxed when he was asleep. All troubles and all responsibilities forgotten. No great destiny that - even though Arthur wasn't aware of it - Merlin knew the prince felt weighing heavily on his shoulders. He looked so much younger, so carefree and happy. 

Merlin wished he could just lie down next to him and stare at this beautiful face all morning. He'd run his hand over Arthur's face, smoothing out all the wrinkles that already started to form on the prince’s young face. He imagined how Arthur's face would light up when he woke from the light touch and saw Merlin lying right beside him. How he would reach out to trace the features of Merlin's face just as Merlin did before. How he would prop himself up on one arm so he could lean over Merlin and- 

Merlin shook his head vehemently. No. He had no time to dwell on his fantasies right now.

He had to win a competition.

Merlin turned away from the bed and the moment his eyes turned golden, several things in the room lifted up from the ground and floated silently through the air. The fireplace cleaned itself and new wood arranged itself inside, tunics soared through the air, folding themselves before landing in the wardrobe. The chamber pot magically emptied itself and the dirty clothes from yesterday gathered in the laundry basket. Only a slight shuffle was heard when the papers on the desk rearranged themselves and a soft scratching sound accompanied the broom sweeping through the room. Not loud enough to wake the prince.

Everything was going well until one of the chairs loudly scrubbed against the floor and bumped against the table, the curtains drew themselves open and the bedsheets tried to straighten themselves over Arthur's sleeping body.

“Merlin!" Came Arthur's sleepy protest. His eyes were - thankfully - still closed, but his body was struggling against the blanket.

Merlin strangled a cry and pounced over to the bed - landing halfway on top of Arthur - trying to stop the bedsheets from possibly strangling the prince.

“Oof,  _ Mer _ lin. Get  _ off _ me!” Arthur complained and pushed against Merlin. “You are heavier than you look.”

“Sorry Sire, just trying to straighten the bedding.” Merlin explained.

“But  _ not while I'm still in them,  _ you utter  _ idiot! _ ” Arthur shouted and pushed at Merlin some more. “Now get off me!”

Merlin grinned but didn't move. “Was that an order,  _ Sire _ ? Because as chance would have it, I happen to find it quite comfortable here.”

Arthur let out a sound of pure frustration. “Sire says, get off me, you utter idiot!” He ground out and Merlin complied.

Merlin stood back and observed while Arthur regained his senses and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.  _ Any second now _ , thought Merlin- and sure enough, Arthur looked at the room around him and his face dropped.

“Merlin, you- How did you… You can’t-”

“Oh, but I did,” replied Merlin. “and I must admit, it was extremely hard work. I feel like my back is broken in thirteen different places and I’m pretty sure I’ve scrubbed so many surfaces that my fingerprints have disappeared” Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but Merlin held up a finger to stop him “ _ But _ , it just makes things all the more better- because now it’s my turn. You asked me to do the whole list of chores and tidy your room. You asked for a speech and Gaius’ muscle relaxant, and you have it all. One thing you didn’t ask, however, was for me to dress you, or to actually  _ give _ you your breakfast.”

Merlin stopped and let Arthur go through the list in his head.  _ Yeah, that’s right _ , he thought when Arthur’s eyes widened in shock.

“ _ So _ , after a rather torturous night, I think it’s only fair that I make you suffer just as much,  _ Sire. _ ” Merlin smirked and allowed Arthur a chance to try and think of a way to dig himself out of this situation- and sure enough the idiot immediately spoke up, his voice full with authority.

“In case you’re forgetting,  _ Mer _ lin, I am going to be King of Camelot and you  _ can not _ order me to do anything that will hinder my appearance to the public.”

Merlin just smiled and rolled his eyes.

“And if I do?” Merlin asked challenging and leaned in closer. “I’d take a year in the stocks if it meant winning this game, Arthur.” and before Arthur had the chance to respond, he made his command.

“Servant says get your own breakfast” said Merlin as he sat down at Arthur’s desk and popped a grape in his mouth.

Arthur eyed the tray that was already in his room. “But you already brought-"

“Yes, but that's mine.” Merlin explained before Arthur could finish the sentence.

“Oh, and Arthur?” Arthur’s face dropped again and Merlin was relishing in making his life hell. “Servant says get it in your current state of… undress” 

Arthur looked more bewildered than Merlin could ever remember seeing him before his face flushed an angry purple colour.

“ _ MERLIN!  _ I am the future King of Camelot! I can not walk around this castle with only a pair of sleeping breeches on! Should my father see me he- ”

“Oooooooooooohhh” interrupted Merlin, sticking out his bottom lip in a mocking sad face “boohooo, Arthur ‘future King of Camelot’, sounds like you're telling me that you're a  _ coward”  _ he made sure to say that last bit in an extra special high pitched voice before raising his eyebrows at the King. “Just wait until I tell Leon, he’ll be  _ so  _ disappoi-”

Merlin was interrupted by a pillow smacking him in the side of the face, and by the time he regained his senses and looked up, Arthur was out of bed and walking out of the door. Merlin didn’t miss the evident morning stiffness in Arthur’s breeches. He licked his lips and ate another grape and tried to distract his thoughts away from what he  _ could _ have ordered Arthur to do, and instead he tried to focus on the fact that Arthur was going to get him back horribly for this.

He’d have to start planning soon, but first: breakfast. And then: taking a nap in this incredibly comfortable bed - that probably still smelled like Arthur and, if he was lucky, was still warm.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We know it's been ages since the last update (and unfortunately this chapter is rather short) but we hope you enjoy it anyways!

 

Honestly, why was Arthur even surprised? He’d never admit it in his life, but Merlin had always been clever and witty, and he definitely had a stroke of mischievousness. Of course he was going to do everything he could to try and win; and that was why Arthur had to dare him to do something he’d never do. 

But what?

When he stormed back into his chamber, sure enough his manservant was gone- Arthur ate breakfast alone after putting on his white tunic. This was the perfect opportunity to give himself time to think. Over the next three days, the jousting tournament was taking place. Today, the competitors would be narrowed down to 12. Tomorrow they would be narrowed down to 6. Then on the third and final day, the winner would be announced and there would be a big feast in celebration. Arthur couldn’t afford to be distracted during this time. He had to make sure he won their game so he could win the jousting tournament. He was Camelot’s champion, after all.

What could he order Merlin to do that he was sure his manservant would refuse? Obviously he was somehow capable of doing insane amounts of chores so that was out of the question. Maybe he could order him to do something he was scared of? But  _ what _ was Merlin scared of? He was scared of everything…

But he wasn’t was he? No. He was the bravest man Arthur had ever met. However… Merlin had a particular bond with Gaius, and Arthur knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of the physician’s eyebrow. Even his own father had crumbled under that cynical glare.

Yes, that was it. He had to dare Merlin to defy Gaius somehow. Arthur immediately dropped his food and made his way out of his chambers. He had to find that idiot of a manservant.

 

He was pleased to find Merlin in the kitchens when he walked past - and without saying a word, he grabbed Merlin’s overly large ear and dragged him around a corner.

“Owwww! Get off you giant  _ oaf! _ ” Merlin shouted as he slapped helplessly at Arthur’s arm.

“I’d ask if that’s an order but we both know it isn’t your turn” Arthur sneered, and Merlin finally managed to free himself from Arthur’s grasp. “Why are you in the kitchen anyway? You’ve already had  _ my  _ breakfast!” Arthur asked suspiciously, and a mischievous smile started to spread on his servant’s face.

“Irene, Jen and Cook were just telling me about how much of a bumbling idiot you were when you came down this morning” Merlin smirked, and Arthur immediately regretted this entire game.

“You will say a word of this to  _ no one _ ” he whispered threateningly in Merlin’s ear, and Merlin nodded his head with a grin 

“Wouldn't dream of it.” he replied. “Though of course I can’t speak for the others-”

“Merlin?” Arthur interrupted.

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

Surprisingly Merlin actually stopped talking, but then a broad smile started to spread from one giant ear to the other.

“You didn’t say ‘Sire says’” Merlin noted happily but a murderous glare from Arthur stopped any further rants from him.

 

After that, they began to make their way towards the training field so Arthur could prepare himself for his first round. Merlin was readying his armour when, out of the blue, he spoke in a somewhat mocking, high pitched voice. 

“Ooo isn't Prince Arthur dreamy?” he said as he turned to lift Arthur's armour over his head. 

“What?” asked Arthur, bewildered, and Merlin shrugged and turned his back once more.

“I can't believe he wasn't wearing a tunic, goodness I could barely hold back!” Merlin teased, and Arthur knew exactly what was happening. He tried to control himself but his face flooded with colour and his cheeks grew very warm

Merlin attached the rest of Arthur's armour and was just lifting his helmet up before he spoke again. 

“Ooo did you see his stomach. He's reasonably toned isn't he? Gods, I could eat him alive!” Merlin could barely contain his laughter, and before Arthur had a chance to speak, his servant leaned in and whispered. 

“Well actually, Irene, he was a lot more toned when he was younger but he's had one too many of Cook’s pies as of late.” he couldn't listen to this anymore. Arthur slapped Merlin upside the head with his gloved hand and he could feel rage burning through him. 

“I am fighting  _ fit! _ ” he yelled and Merlin couldn't do anything for laughing. Arthur then grabbed him by the neckerchief and leaned in close enough to feel his servants breath on his face. For a moment he almost lost his composure, but he couldn't afford that now. No. Instead, he looked into those stormy blue eyes and decided it was time. 

He moved his face around as much as his armour allowed and got as close to Merlin's ear as possible. “Sire says” he whispered and he tried to ignore the shiver that he felt running down Merlin's body. “The next time Gaius asks you to do some chores for him you’ll tell him to stick his errands up his arse.” he finished, and when his servants body froze, he knew he'd made the right decision. Merlin would never ignore a request from Gaius, so asking him to use profanities just made it even harder. 

Arthur was going to win. 

“Ohh, speak of the devil” Arthur added when he caught Gaius hurriedly making his way across the lawn towards them.

“I hate you” said Merlin, and Arthur could feel his head swelling with pride at the insult. He put on a winning smile once Gaius had approached. 

“Sorry Sire, I was wondering if I could steal Merlin. We’re running desperately low on a few things and I’m almost entirely out of yarrow. It’ll be a half day’s job at best and we really need the resources for the trials.” Oh this was  _ fantastic. _ Arthur grinned as he accepted his victory - there was no way he wasn’t winning this. He turned to Merlin with mock generosity. “Actually Merlin, you’ve been working very hard as of late and I was going to give you the day off. Of course you can have him Gaius.” 

Merlin looked absolutely appalled and his face contorted with what Arthur could only describe as something close to rage. For a moment, Arthur had never felt more proud.  _ He  _ had put that expression on Merlin’s face. He had won.

But then Merlin smiled.

“Gaius - Arthur has a point. As he said, he’s worked me to the bone as of late and honestly - I really need a break. I know that George is heading out today anyway to assist in a crop collection run. He’d be more than happy to help if you asked. But just for today,” Merlin turned to Arthur and gave him a subtle wink “I’m going to ask you to kindly stick your errands up your ass- or should I say, George’s ass”

Gaius’ eyebrows almost popped of his forehead in shock- and Arthur was sure the old physician was going to lose his rag, but then Gaius just looked between the two of them and laughed.  _ He just laughed!  _ Arthur stood there gaping in astonishment when Gaius nodded to Merlin and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. 

Of course, Merlin would have told Gaius about the game, and knowing Gaius he'd be rooting for his apprentice to win. 

Arthur was buggered.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

“There's nothing quite like winning your first fight of the day, Merlin. Isn't that right?” Arthur asked as he held out his sword for a Merlin to take away. “Though I suppose you wouldn't know, I don't suppose you've ever been in a real fight.”

“No, not yet, but I could be tempted to start one if the Prince doesn't learn to keep his trap shut.” Merlin grumbled, and Arthur barked a laugh. 

“Merlin, it actually pleases me to think you could beat me in a fight. Maybe you should watch whatever poor soul is facing me next, it might give you some ideas on how to lose gracefully.” Arthur teased and pretended not to notice the way Merlin rubbed his shoulder a little harder than normal. 

“Actually, while we're on the topic of your next fight, there  _ is  _ something I wanted to ask,” Merlin stated and Arthur turned his head to look at his friend. 

“And that would be?”

“Well you said that people can graciously lose, but how does a person graciously forfeit?” Merlin asked innocently.

Arthur’s response came without thinking: “Why would you ask such a question,  _ Mer _ lin? Why would anyone forfeit in a Mel-” 

_ Oh fuck,  _ he wouldn't-

Arthur’s eyes bulged and he threw his manservant an incredulous look which was reciprocated by Merlin’s shit eating grin.

He would.

“Servant says: Arthur Pendragon, all time champion, needs to either forfeit or lose during his next fight. Actually, no. Servant takes that back. Servant says, lose your fight, Arthur. In the most humiliating way imaginable.”


End file.
